Watching From the Audience

For a long time, I watched other people on the stage – confident, established, owning their sh*t – while I stayed firmly in the audience. Life had thrown a few curveballs, and imposter syndrome loved to narrate the aftermath. The voice in my head was saying: you’ll never compare to that girl with the strong arms and effortless confidence. You’ll never run your own business. You’ll never build a brand big enough to be seen. You don’t know enough to speak like they do.

So I clapped for them and doubted myself.

Level 1 vs Level 47

What eventually changed wasn’t my ability – it was my perspective. I realised I was comparing my level 1 to someone else’s level 47. I was measuring my beginning against their built experience, their momentum, their polished highlight reel. What I couldn’t see were the relatable parts: the messy launches, the seasons where life got in the way, the posts that flopped and probably made them cringe.

They started somewhere too.

That realisation changed everything. The gap didn’t feel like talent anymore. It felt like time.

I stopped idolising and started observing. I listened to podcasts differently. I attended webinars differently. I read more self-development books and paid closer attention to how people spoke about their journeys. When I met people offline, I realised they weren’t superheroes. They were human – still learning, still building, still figuring things out in real time.

I built a vision board. I narrowed my focus. I stopped asking “Why them?” and started asking “Why not me?”

I’m not at level 47 yet, but I’ve stepped onto the stage – and that changes everything.

Confidence Comes After the Cringe

Even now, after building more confidence than I ever thought I could, there are still areas I want to grow in. Public speaking used to sit firmly in the “not for me” category. So I did the uncomfortable thing: I agreed to be a guest speaker on a webinar. Immediately I was like “OMG this idea is terrifying.” But I accepted the opportunity not because I felt completely ready, and not because the imposter voice had disappeared, but because I refused to let it keep choosing for me. I needed to spread them wings to fly.

I’ve also started speaking in the videos I post on social media. Behind the scenes, it’s far less glamorous than it looks. I stumble on my words. I get brain fog. I have 40+ retakes in my camera roll. I get flustered. But each time I hit “post,” it gets 1% easier.

Confidence doesn’t arrive fully formed. It builds through exposure and repetition. It grows when you show up before you feel polished and choose growth over comfort again and again. And in a world increasingly driven by automation and AI-generated content, your imperfect, human voice is often your biggest advantage.

You Are Exactly Where You’re Meant to Be

If you’ve read this far – thank you. And if you’re nodding along, thinking you fully relate, this part matters.

You are exactly where you’re meant to be right now. That doesn’t mean you stay there or accept plateau. It simply means this is your current level.

You don’t jump levels by wishing you were further ahead. You move the needle by getting curious. Books, podcasts, webinars, in-real-life events, conversations, mentors – the resources are everywhere if you look for them. I even stayed in touch with my university careers consultant for months after graduating because I knew proximity to growth mattered.

Over time, the curiosity builds belief. Belief that you CAN. And if you’re hungry enough, you WILL. But don’t do a me and become so obsessed you’re a workaholic – that’s when it gets unhealthy. Weave these developments into your life so it’s practical, achievable, and fun. It genuinely does incentivise you to improve, become the better y o u.

That’s when things start to feel possible. And exciting.

Teacher or Torture

One concept I love from Mel Robbins’ Let Them Theory is that comparison can go one of two ways: it can become your teacher, or it can become your torture.

If you find yourself comparing where you are to someone who already has what you’ve been dreaming of, let it teach you. Let it inspire you. Let it stretch you. Let it show you what’s possible. Ask yourself: why them – and not me? Why can’t I share that stage too?

Comparison becomes destructive when it turns into bitterness – when it sounds like resentment or the familiar “It’ll never be me.” That mindset doesn’t build anything. It keeps you seated.

For a long time, I restricted my own growth because I was worried about how people would look at me. That fear traced back further than I realised – from school years where being watched felt like being judged. Eventually, I reframed it. If they’re watching, let them watch. If they’re judging, that’s fine. They’re not building my life. They’re not responsible for my happiness – or my bills, for that matter.

Sometimes the hardest truth isn’t that other people are ahead. It’s that we’ve been using comparison as an excuse to stay small. It’s easier to admire from a distance than it is to risk being seen trying. It’s safer to say “one day” than to say “today.”

But growth rarely starts when you feel ready. It starts when staying seated becomes more uncomfortable than stepping forward.

And that’s the pivotal turning for me.

I stopped shrinking.

And started building anyway.

Because anyone can own that stage.

You just have to be willing to leave the audience.

Author: Hedia x